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WORLD WAR II - IF NATIONS WERE PEOPLE: Aditya Chaturvedi

Personification is a literary device that represents an abstract quality. It is the attribution of human characteristics to non-humans, either living beings or inanimate objects. Using it for a comic effect sometimes seems more real than reality, and is a hard-hitting form of assailing political correctness, in the times of relentless victim complex and identity crisis marathons.

World War II was complex and catastrophic, with the Allies and Axis arrayed against each other - and a lot of other nations who just plunged headlong. Eventually, the war and what ensued during its aftermath became a defining theme of many of the countries.

In the evening today, I stumbled across an ingeniously witty thread on Reddit - the type that blends good old satire with geopolitics - and was pleasantly impressed with the undercurrent of the thought at work. Immediately, I thought to offer a continuum to the thread whose hilarious theme was 'If Nazi Germany was Fatherland and USSR the Motherland, then World War Second was just a complex and messy divorce'.

I do realize that in fixing the jamborees termed Indian marriages there are quite a few 'invisible hands' at work and while ' all happy families are all alike;every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

Let's look at the dramatis personae divided between Allies and the Axis in the World War II (not your Montague vs Capulet, irrespective of' family comes first').

Croatia: Ruffian pal of the father whom the mom and the rest of the family detests. Father tries to rein him often, but to little avail.

Spain: 'Log Kya Kahenge' relative who tries to be neutral and explicitly aligned towards none. But in his heart, he knows the father is right. For he won't allow his womenfolk to open bank accounts until 1970.

Portugal: A young dude in the neighborhood who is inspired from the father, but maintains some restraint for longevity ( Lusicotropicalism ya see!. And is a mellowed down regular pin-up poster dude kinda face. Upholder of traditions and syndicalism. Licenses cigarette lighters so that flappers be in limits.

Ukraine: The aunt from mother’s family who is torn between filial ties and charisma of the rich and influential dad and his business partner overseas.

Norway : Quisling! Attended the wedding of inconvenience to safeguard future of children. But gradually drifted loyalties to the dad.

Turkey: Traditional huckster who knows the 'balance of power'. Fairly rich now, it realises that the past is too much with it. Outstripped his cousins – the Arabs and Mongols – and now wants a seat at the posh white-neighbourhood table. The neighbours however, still debate over his history and geography.

Finland: Underpaid apprentice in mother’s office who faces a dilemma. Equally dislikes the harridan mother and the ill-tempered, authoritarian father, but knows the children and their caretakers wouldn't be there in time of need. So makes concessions to the mothers side. Tries everything to be in their good books, including more buying stuff than he needs from her weekend garage sale.

India: Melancholic, emaciated chaperon who has to work overtime, remains grossly underpaid, has to bear the weight of the war machinery for the Raj. Nursing hopes of 'Someday its gonna be Saturday night'.

China: “Apna Time Aayega. Ek din sabka badla lega tera Faizal”. (Just a matter of time till the dragon awakens from the slumber).

Albania: Illegit son of that aunt who tried her best stitch a bunch of rowdies together. Strained all ties with the Motherland under Hoxha. Now a is a professional hustler/gangster in the neighbourhood. Posh mainland guys are naturally scared of him.

Serbia: The only marginally decent son of the same aunt who was handed a raw deal, ostracized, and is now undergoing therapy from his aunt - the motherland.

Canada: Holiday home for special children where they planned to run their affairs from and scamper around until all divorce proceedings are over and nagging neighbours do not disturb.

Paraguay, Brazil, Argentina : Sprawling farmhouses cum safehouses where the father invested just in time for adverse times, and successfully smuggled hundreds of blue-eyed sons and daughters when such time eventually arrived.

Singapore: A former desolate outpost earnestly believing in 'We Gonna make a world of our own. I will tell you things that no one else knows'.

Mexico : The good Samaritan next door who punches above his weight in time of crisis.

Iran: Overdosed on modernization and crystal meth of identity supremacy in Aryan race supplied by the father. In 1935, changes his name from Persia to Iran (Land of Aryans) to keep the fickle father happy and show him that how much people revere him.

Pakistan: Newly born baby.. Britain got the responsibility to swing his cradle.

Afghanistan: Nonchalant. Too absorbed in themselves. 'Fight Coz you don't know what's next, fight coz what else to do' – own interpretation of Khayams 'Drink coz you don't know why, drink coz you know fence'. '

Burma: That surrogate child who enjoyed equal attention in the extended family of the Raj. But then, one fine day, was told to fend off on his own.

Saudi Arabia: 'Can't stop won't stop thinking about you' (to the American oil companies)

Belgium: Congo Free State and Leopold's soliloquy is past. Let me be the one to initiate a new union and teach you all what's civilization and humanism.

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